Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Korean social clash or just a bad experience?

Okay, in May of this year I flew to Korea to meet a penpal/friend who I've known for a little over a year on the internet through myspace and penpal websites where we became very good friends. Her and her parent's invited me to stay at their apartment for 2 weeks. I get there and everything's great. We went sight seeing, go on shopping trips, night clubs and went to some temples in Changwon and Busan. We where laughing, smiling and having a good time. But when we went to Seoul she completely changed. She started to ignore me and be really mean towards me. For example I ran out of actual hard cash and I had to pay her for the train tickets she booked in advance. When I tell her she rolls her eyes and says you should of known how much cash before you came! I'm thinking in my mind woah! geez! We get to the atm that takes international credit cards and it's all in Korean. I said to her can you help me? She rolled her eyes again and said can't you just do it! I got my cash and as I was trying to put it in my money belt she started walking out of the bank and I'm like can you please wait for me? She rolls her eyes again. Then in the subway in Seoul it's packed with people and I'm surrounded by a whole bunch of old ladies and at one of the stops walks off without a word and the doors closed and she's gone! I get off at the next stop and wait there. Hoping she'll get on the next train and meet me there. She does and I tell her can u please talk to me so we don't get lost? Then at the last palace we go to in Seoul she finally snaps at me. Saying "There's a sign in English! Read it! I'm not your guide!". I was totally caught off guard at that point coz I thought everything was going so well. Then I asked her trying not to cry why are you treating me like this! Then she says i don't understand how difficult it is for her to speak English. Even though her English is super good. Then she said I should of known what to do (like the atm, using a Korean washing machine at the hostel we stayed at) before coming here! I'm like I never even been to Korea before! How can you expect me to know anything in 2 weeks without asking for help! Then she gives me the story about how hard it was for her in America as an exchange student in America for a year and how she had to do everything by herself. I said to her "I just asked you how do you do it!" I didn't ask her to actually do it for me! At that point I didn't want her to runaway from me in Seoul so I just said "Let's just go". Then we got back to Changwon that day. I was so happy to see her parents because they're super nice. Then the next day I decided to just explore Changwon myself. Which was pretty cool because I met a doctor at the mcdonalds who was surprised to see a foreigner. I told him about my trip and what at had happened. He gave me some pretty good advice. Then the next day my penpal's former english tutor wanted to introduce me to his night cl of high school girls. Which was pretty fun. It was a great change from being around my penpal. That night though I couldn't take anymore of it though and I told her mother what had happened. My penpal refused to translate for me though. So they had a english dictornary and I got the point across to her mother. Her mother got super mad at her. My penpal was telling me how hard it was having to pay for herself at the places we went. I told her if you didn't wanna go to a certain place we didnt have to. (she planned all the places we went to) Out of shock they told me I have to go to a hotel. Her mother felt super bad for me and kept telling me sorry. I gave them the gifts I brought for the family at that point. I was gonna give it to them on my last day. This made the mother feel even worse. I kept telling her it's ok. I couldn't keep the gifts coz of the weight in my luggage. Then the english tutor who i met earlier showed up. I think the mother had called him. He translated everything I had to say to her mother. Telling everything that had happened. So the mother helped me pack my suitcases and we went to this fancy hotel. I felt super bad there because she was gonna pay for me to stay in this nice hotel. I offered her some money for it but she refused and said via the tutor "sorry, for my inmature daughter. " So I stayed there the rest of my trip (3 nights) I did a little bit more exploring of Changwon. Then the English tutor and my penpal's mother came to pick me up. Then they dropped me off at Gimhae Airport I told the mom thanks for everything you were very nice to me shook her hand and I made my journey back to Toronto, Canada and then back to Buffalo, NY. I was still upset when I got home cause I lost a good friend. Then just today I looked her up on a penpal website and she changed it talking about visiting penpals and said "Watch out for selfish people!". So Koreans what do you think of all this? Was it just one bad experience? or are many Korean girls like this? Most of the Koreans I met were very nice and friendl

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